guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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