My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
