there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
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What drink are we having for lunch?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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