He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
