Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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