Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
