C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
