I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize