i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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