he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
