I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
porn star boner night. come get it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
