I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We got so high we made milksteak
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
