dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
zippers are such a cool invention
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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