Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
