Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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