I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
