Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
