if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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