Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
