haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Come share oat with me in your robe
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize