worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
