is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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