Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
