Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
