K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
