it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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