We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
