Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I party with great urgency now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
