Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
