you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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