I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
