fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
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I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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