My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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