..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
