he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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