White coat. Heels.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
