Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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