Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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