Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
