no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
