just come out here and I will go home with you...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
