Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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