I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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