Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
