hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
