why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Girls should come with a carfax report
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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