Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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