Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
