Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
