At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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