yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
