I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
