if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
