so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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