I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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