I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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