I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize