Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
