don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
