i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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