So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
